New Stumpynubs.com website launched!

We just finished our all new website and that means you'll have to update your bookmarks and favorites- but once you see the new Stumpynubs.com, it'll all seem worth it.

What are you waiting for? Go check it out!

Episode 32- Drum Sander Dreamin'

If I were a drum sander, what would I want to look like? That's the question Stumpy Nubs and Mustache Mike tackle in the latest episode of Blue Collar Woodworking. Plus, Charles Neil talks dyes and stains; Stumpy continues his review of Stanley's bench planes with the #4; and Mustache Mike steals the camera during his lunch break and makes a big announcement!

This is the first of a two part drum sander series. In this episode we work out the unique design features. In the next episode we put it all together. Enjoy...

Festool's Finest Woodworker in the World

This is a parody of the Dos Equis "Most interesting man in the world" commercials we did for a Festool thing. Hope you get a laugh!

Episode 31- The "Franken-Cyclone" lives!

They said it couldn't be done. They said it was impossible, incomprehensible, in other words, insane... But IT'S ALIVE!!!! The "Franken-Cyclone" is finished and none too soon because it is about to go head to head with the king of commercial units: The Clear Vue CV1800! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder why it took four episodes to complete, but most of all you'll have the best 19 minutes of your life this week!

...that and a whole lot more on this HIGH DEFINITION episode of Blue Collar Woodworking!

This is the final part of our 4 episode dust collection series. In part one we began building our wooden cyclone; in part two we addressed blowers, in part three we built our own wooden duct work and an overhead filtration unit, and in this one it all comes together. Enjoy!

(Oh, and if you want to save 10% on any Clearvuecyclones.com purchase, even off sale prices, use the code "stumpy10" and tell them I sent you!)

BLOG: Ohh- You meant THAT kind of stool sample!

Have you ever said something you regret? I’m not talking about the time you cussed out that noisy baby in the movie theater or when you asked the fat lady if she was expecting. I’m talking about something that seemed to make absolute sense at the moment you said it, but upon further examination, you wish you could cram it back into your pie hole before anyone else noticed how stupid it was.

As a maker of fine films, I have learned the importance of carefully considering what you will say before the cameras role. In this day and age only two things last forever: Little Debbie snack cakes and things you put on the internet. If you make yourself look stupid on video, as I try to do every couple of weeks, your stupidity will spread like wildfire as it is linked to and embedded upon websites across the world wide web.

Here’s a classic illustration. I came across this video on You Tube last night. Here I was, minding my own business, enjoying a cold one, when George at WWGOA made it all come out my nose. Watch the two minute video below and see if you notice…

See how one word can change everything? A video about stool design suddenly becomes a parody by inserting the word “sample”. By the time he said he liked to invite people to sit on his big stool samples to see how they felt under their butts, I had figured out his true (and very funny) intention. My wife, who is not one for potty humor, wasn’t fooled either. Intentional or not, I am here to tell you that even the smartest people can look dumb if their words aren’t chosen properly.

Take it from me, a guy who looks dumb for a living!

BLOG: Rappin' Roy Underhill Video

I made this one for the Rockler Nordy's video awards. It's a little cheesy, but a lot of fun. Plus it expresses my true love for Roy Underhill!

The video had to be limited to 2 minutes, so a lot was cut out. Here's the full transcript. It's done to the tune of Weird Al's song "Couch Patato", which is a parody of Eminem's "Lose Yourself".

What inspires me to work wood? Yo-

My hand plane is ready.

It’s hot in here, armpits are sweaty.

There’s a grumble from inside my belly.

Too much spaghetti.

I’m nervous but on the surface I look calm and ready.

To push on, but tear out is all I’m getting.

I could try a plow, see if that that would work somehow

Another minute from now I’m throwin’ in the towel

I’m dying, wow, I feel like crying now

I bite my tongue or I’ll shout something foul

Snap back to reality

Stop the insanity

Think of your family

No cause for profanity

I don’t give up that easy

If I try it again I’ll see

Shavings curl wonderfully

I’ll be working happily

Woah

It’s just like on that show

With that guy we all know

34 Years in a row

With those suspenders he wears

Wish I had a pair

He has more talent than most in just one mustache hair.

You’re gonna lose your fingers in woodwork they told me, they scold me

But this is what know

Set up shop and you can’t stop, do not give it a go

Unless you’re prepared to do it for a lifetime

You’ll never be like those guys on the TV, they told me, cajoled me

Turn off those videos

But I love it a lot, do not- touch the remote

Woodworking isn’t just a hobby of mine

My back is aching

Don’t care how long it’s taking

A highboy is what I’m making

Made to order, with bi-fold doors or,

Maybe a lowboy if the boards come out shorter

The next project will be the same story

I’ll make one object or I may just make forty

Half done projects, all over they’re layin’

I try to do work, but just end up playin’

With a new tool- just for a minute

I had to go all the way to Rockler to get it

You’re gonna lose your mind with this woodwork, they told me, they scold me

You do too much of it you know

All that sawdust and wood lust- your mind will blow

They don’t understand this hobby of mine

Turn the channel on the TV, they told me, cajoled me

No more woodworking videos

I love PBS, can’t take a rest, I have to know

How to finish southern yellow pine

I never miss Tommy Mac, season 3 is back

He’s got a knack for spreading shellac

I built a wood rack like the one in his shop

Can’t wait to pack it up to the top

Norm Abram can make anything in a half hour

I guess that’s why all his tools run on power

Bob Villa thinks that he’s the one that’s got ‘er

I wouldn’t let that hack grout my shower

And then there’s Charles Neil with all his DVDs

I’d own ‘em all if money grew on the trees

I could learn to bump cut with a router bit

I’d never screw up if I sneak up on it

He’s got a website and an internet show

He’s forgotten more stuff than I’ll ever know

I watch ‘em all cause I’m a woodworking freak

I can’t wait to see what they’re making this week

A 30 minute spot where joinery is the plot

I’m always learning more stuff that I forgot.

I try it all out right here in the shop

Till my fingers are numb and my eyes are bloodshot

Cause I’ve only got

One favorite spot

I’m gonna be at my workbench a whole lot.

You waste your time with this woodwork, they told me, they scold me

None of them really know

I love dovetails, stiles and rails, the raised panel

Let me work and I’ll be just fine

You’ll never be like Roy Underhill they told me, cajoled me

But I’ve seen every show

His floppy hat and all that he lets me know

Not a minute of it has been wasted time

You can learn anything from woodworking shows.

I’m outta here.

BLOG: Look out evil- I have a measuring tape!

Woodworkers get inspiration from the most unlikely of sources. Recently I was eating a sandwich when it hit me: I’ve been getting ripped off! Maybe I should give you a little background on this…

A couple of weeks ago I read a news story about a guy who was suing Subway restaurants because his “foot long” sub wasn’t a full twelve inches.  Apparently he felt a little empty inside after consuming his cold cut combo. So he went around town ordering from every Subway he could find and measuring the sandwiches. His suspicions were confirmed when he discovered, to his horror, that the average length was a mere eleven inches. Someone in the dark, smoky back rooms of Subway’s corporate offices was conspiring to cheat him out of a full inch. So he did the natural thing in such a situation. He sued. The case is currently pending, but I know we are all sitting on the edges of our seats, waiting to see if a jury awards him a lifetime’s supply of the bread end stumps that he so desperately wants.

Settle down, I’m getting to the woodworking part…

So, here I am eating my third eleven inch sub when I start to wonder if I was also a victim. I’m not worried about my sandwiches since I always steal a few napkins to make up for the smaller buns. But when it comes to woodworking, value is paramount. Had I been taking too much for granted? I wiped my mouth, stuffed a few extra mustard packets into my pocket and slipped out the door to do some investigating.

My first stop was Home Depot, the place where every fine woodworking project begins. As I walked through the automatic doors I made my way straight for the coffee stand. No orange vests in sight, so I put a few extra creams in my cup. I like my coffee milky. Over at the 2X4 pile I started pulling lumber off the neat stack and tossing it into a pile on the floor. I like to get my boards from the middle of the pallet. As I held up a particularly damp specimen of Douglas fir, sighting down it’s length with one eye closed, I noted a slight twist. It may have been the lighting, it may even have been my imagination, but I demand the best so I tossed it aside and continued rummaging through the stack. Finally, at the very bottom of the pile I found the perfect board. I pulled a measuring tape off the rack, ripped open the package and used it to check the width and thickness. I KNEW IT! It wasn’t even close to being a 2X4. Home Depot was peddling undersized lumber.

By now I was ready to blow the top off this whole thing. I took my measuring tape all over the store, tearing packages open, filling a shopping cart with evidence. Drywall screws were a 64^th of an inch shorter than the label claimed. The quarts of wood finish were only 90% full. Every single sheet of plywood was off by at least a 32^nd.  It’s true that a great deal of the stuff I destroyed in my investigation was fine; some of it was over the size or weight on the package. But I managed to collect a full cart of fraudulent merchandise which I pushed up to the front of the store and left by the service desk with a note that said “I’m on to you, fella!”

I wasn’t ready for a confrontation. I didn’t want to blow my cover until I saw just how high up this conspiracy went. So my next stop was Woodcraft. Same story here, extra cream in the coffee, and I ate six of the mini donuts before I grabbed a pair of calipers and headed over to the router bit cabinet. The lock wouldn’t budge no matter how hard I rattled the cabinet. Well played Mr. Woodcraft, keep the inspectors out and you can get away with anything, I bet. This nut was going to be harder to crack.

I called the clerk over to the lumber racks and asked him to cut me six board feet off a piece of Honduran rosewood, in one foot chunks. I watched closely, sometimes leaning over his shoulder so he could feel my warm breath on the back of his neck as he made the cuts. Finally he laid the last piece on the bench and I immediately snatched it up. With one accusatory eye on him I measured each piece. Then I asked him for a board foot calculator, which he surrendered without question. Good, I thought, it’ll go easier on you if you cooperate. To my surprise, each piece came out slightly over sized. They must be on to me. I threw the calculator toward the magazine racks and used the distraction to escape back to the free coffee station to refill and regroup. I knew something was fishy; I just couldn’t put my finger on it. And I’m usually very good about where I put my fingers. After all, I’m a woodworker.

That’s when the manager and a very tall security guard brandishing a Taser asked me to leave. Someone must have told them about my investigation. This was much bigger than I ever imagined. I knew right then and there that I was destined for a special purpose. I am to be the advocate of the regular woodworker, the eyes and ears of the helpless masses. Whenever there is a sale item out of stock, wherever the free coffee is less than hot, I’ll be there. Like a mysterious superhero in a Roy Underhill hat I will hide in the shadows behind tool displays and lumber racks in woodworking stores and home centers everywhere, waiting to expose those who try to cheat woodworkers out of their hard-earned money. My identity will be a mystery, my name only heard as a whisper in the wind as I swoop past faster than the eye can see, responding to every call. Justice will be my legacy, thrift my daily mission. And I will not stop until woodworkers the world over can buy a 2X4 with the confidence that they will be getting their $2 worth!

…After all, it’s not like we demand too much sometimes!

Episode 30- Dust Collection part 3

The good times never end at the Stumpy Nubs Workshop- this time build our own 6" square wooden duct work, we make a ceiling mounted air filtration unit from a furnace blower, we talk all sorts of technical details about dust collection, and we welcome four guests including Charles Neil- who gives us a tip on making face frames really pop; Paul Moore- who entertains us with a crazy Canadian 100HP lathe; Mustache Mike makes his first appearance on the show as Stumpy's new sidekick; and Puddles the shop dog sits and shivers on the bench. All this and more on this episode of Blue Collar Woodworking...

This is part 3 of our 4 episode dust collection series. In part one we began building our wooden cyclone; in part two we addressed blowers, and in the next episode we'll have the conclusion of the wooden cyclone build where we'll show how we hook up two Harbor Freight motors for dual suction, plus we're trying out a Clear Vue cyclone on our wooden duct work. 

BLOG: Powermatic Snubs Stumpy Nubs!

So, a while back I got an email asking me to submit a paragraph or two to Powermatic for their Facebook contest. They were going to give away a mortising machine to the best story about what you would do with one. Now, I already have two power mortisers (a Harbor Freight and a Craftsman), but I’m not one to turn down free tools! So I wrote something up. Bottom line is, I didn’t win. They gave mortisers to three people with heart rending stories that deserved them a lot more than I did. But I thought it was fun anyway, and now that the contest is over I thought I’d share my entry and see if you would have voted for it… or just laughed…

If I had a Powermatic PM701 mortiser? Hmmmmm…

The first thing I’d do is put on my best jacket, you know, the corduroy one with the leather elbow patches. That and a pair of those aviator sunglasses is all it’ll take to get me spiffed up like Tommy Mac and ready to hit the town. I’d go to all the best joints, the night clubs and watering holes where woodworkers hang out. I’d walk up in there like a playa’, high fiving and giving those “point n’ wink” moves to random people in the crowd so everyone can see that I’m a guy who knows other guys. I wouldn’t order any drinks, because I want a clear head when I whip my new mortiser out of my backpack and start drilling square holes right into the top of the bar. The bartender doesn’t care because it’s my trademark move and all the ladies are crowding in just to see me work. Everyone’s waving their arms in the air like they just don’t care when I leave because I can’t stay long, there’s a party going on at the lumberyard and I’m the bell of the ball.

It’s nothing but guys in Roy Underhill suspenders and girls with tool belts who swoon when I step up to the nearest woodpile and fire that baby up. I added dual exhaust pipes and a sticker that says “No Fear”. The pipes don’t connect to anything; they’re just there to make me look like an outlaw on a Harley and dudes move aside when they see me come. Walnut, maple, basswood, it doesn’t matter because not a tenon in the place will go home without a mortise tonight!

A hush falls over the crowd as in walks Christopher Schwartz, his hair carefully parted to the side and a bandoleer full of chisels across his chest. He challenges me, but I’m not afraid because I have the power of Powermatic. Without a word we both tear into a stack of 2X4s because we’re woodworking titans who live on the edge. Mortises of every shape and size riddle the grain like pimples on a thirteen-year-old’s face as flames shoot from the steel and the chips rise knee-deep on the floor. It’s no holds barred, do or die, money for nothin’ and chicks for free. Chris wipes the sweat from his eyes with a foam paint brush but I show no sign of fatigue. My suped up mortising hot-rod hums to the tune of The Devil Went Down to Georgia and I’m laughing like a maniac as I cut more holes than anyone’s ever dared to imagine possible.

Then it ends when every woodworker in the joint drops to a knee and presents me with their best chisels like generals surrounding their swords. I am crowned the handsomest, most manly mortising king of all woodworking kind and at that moment, for the first time in my life I feel truly, completely ALIVE!

…that or I’d make some Morris chairs. Those chairs have a lot of mortises in them.

Episode 29: Dust collection P2

MAN- there’s a lot of great stuff in this episode... First, we talk about true dust collection power with Bill Pentz (part two of our dust collection series), Charles Neil stops by again, I show off my four favorite block planes and start an experiment that might destroy the world.

Besides that we talk about the Harbor Freight dust collector, ask average woodworker five dumb questions, talk about King Tut’s stool, and that’s not even everything...